29 Oct

The past few days have been a delicate dance between trying to stay connected to this pregnancy while also trying not to drive myself insane. I found the best way to do so was to unplug a little, so that’s why I’ve been light on posting.

But, we finally had another ultrasound this morning. I’ve been continuing to have the brown spotting all the time. All different shades of brown, with lots of unpleasant clot-like material mixed in. It was discouraging and upsetting, to say the least. And yet, the nausea has persisted, along with the occasional round of vomiting (including this morning in the shower – a first!).

Both my fears and hopes were proved right today. They inserted the wand and immediately found baby’s heartbeat. Everyone in the room collectively breathed a giant sigh of relief. There’s still a live baby in there! The other sac remained very empty looking. There looked to be some sort of “debris” in there but nothing measurable. My RE is officially calling it a vanishing twin but he is very hopeful for the baby we do have.

After he left, we got to actually hear the heartbeat pounding away in there! 147 bpm. It was beautiful and magical and surreal. That’s your baby’s heartbeat! the u/s tech (slash my favorite person at the clinic) said. The little guy was measuring right on track, 7 weeks 0 days (I’m 7 weeks 2 days but they didn’t seem concerned by that).

I still have a small hematoma and the other sac is “getting reabsorbed” so my spotting days are not over yet. I’m okay with it for now. We got more pictures this time, including the one with the heartbeat’s squiggly lines. I’ll probably start working on that separate page soon… maybe. I’m definitely feeling after today more confident in this pregnancy but still too scared to really trust it.

My next ultrasound is next Wednesday at 8 weeks 4 days, at which point they’ll be passing me off to an OB. They think I’ll have about two more weeks left on the estradiol pills and progesterone injections. This is starting to get really real.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to go pay further tribute to the porcelain goddess. That is if Hurricane Sandy doesn’t blow us away first.


28 Responses to “Relief”

  1. storkchaser October 29, 2012 at 5:39 pm #

    Oh sweetie I’m so glad for you. What a great appointment, but I’m sorry for the one that has been lost. Keep us updated and take care in the storm.

  2. Mo October 29, 2012 at 5:46 pm #

    So glad there’s still that little HB in there. Take care!

  3. Belle October 29, 2012 at 6:21 pm #

    Thank goodness. I don’t know if you felt it this weekend, but I was thinking about you and your babe this weekend and sending all kinds of seriously good vibes. xoxo

    • Shelley October 29, 2012 at 7:32 pm #

      Thank you Belle! I kind of did! I had a whole long teary talk with the little tike about everyone who loved it already and was sending good vibes and I used your affirmation about the universe supporting these intentions. I guess it worked!

  4. Tracy October 29, 2012 at 6:23 pm #

    I am SO glad to hear this!! I had a terrifying 7 week u/s, and obviously it didn’t end well. I can feel it physically when you describe your distress… I’m so sorry for the vanished little one, but also so thankful for the healthy heartbeat you heard!!

    Thinking of you every day, friend! Take care, and try not to blow away!! ❤

    • Shelley October 29, 2012 at 7:34 pm #

      Thank you so much Tracy. 7 weeks is a really scary time and I don’t know if I ever really trusted that I would get here.

  5. Keisha October 29, 2012 at 6:29 pm #

    I’m so happy to read this.
    It must have been music to your ears to hear that heartbeat. I remember how surreal it was to hear Helena’s heart beating for the first time.
    You’re right; it is getting really real. 7 weeks, Shelley! 🙂

  6. B. just cycling along October 29, 2012 at 6:53 pm #

    I am so happy you have one strong heartbeat pumping away in there! I am very sorry for the loss of the twin though. Will be keeping you in my thoughts!

  7. Lisa October 29, 2012 at 6:59 pm #

    I’m sorry you’re feeling sick, but at least it’s a little daily reassurance that you’ve got someone in there. So glad you’ve got a strong little baby staying put!

  8. Amy Simpkins October 29, 2012 at 7:23 pm #

    Isn’t that “pchew pchew pchew” sound the craziest, most steady thing in the world? So happy that your little babe is growing. I’m sorry to hear about the twin. Hope that you are going well.

    • Shelley October 29, 2012 at 7:36 pm #

      Oh, it so is. I wish I had taped it. Now all I want in the world is to hear it again.

  9. Aplatanada October 29, 2012 at 7:28 pm #

    Been thinking about you all weekend, lady! I’m sorry to hear about the vanishing twin. But that is coupled with a lot of happiness that your other baby is so strong! You’re making great progress.

  10. Cristy October 29, 2012 at 7:31 pm #

    Hooray!!! I’ve been so worried and was hoping for some good news! Grow little baby grow!!
    Take care of yourself today!

  11. Courtney October 29, 2012 at 7:32 pm #

    Yay for a beating heart! I’m so excited for you that you have one very healthy baby!

  12. sams October 29, 2012 at 7:42 pm #

    I’m so happy for you that you found some relief after your u/s appointment. We’ve only had one u/s and won’t have another one for a week and a half. The waiting is making me crazy – along with the nausea.

    I’ll be praying for you that hurricane Sandy passes you by!

  13. cassiedash October 29, 2012 at 10:31 pm #

    Wonderful news! I sighed a sigh of relief as I read this, but I’m so sorry for the loss of your baby’s twin. Praying for another promising u/s next week! And stay safe as Sandy blows about!

  14. Amanda ( October 29, 2012 at 10:47 pm #

    I am so glad there was a heartbeat!

  15. Katie October 30, 2012 at 12:12 am #

    Oh YES! So so glad things were good today! I am breathing a sigh of relief for you!

  16. nicole / novas October 30, 2012 at 12:58 am #

    YEAH! sigh of relief. although i am sure the vanishing twin isn’t the *best* news, per se, i AM sure that hearing one strong heartbeat is such a wonderful relief at this point.

  17. Jenny October 30, 2012 at 1:01 am #

    I swear that little heartbeat is the most beautiful sound in the world. I’m so happy you heard a strong one today. 🙂

  18. trufflelove October 30, 2012 at 1:41 am #

    Congratulations, Im so relieved and happy for you! I am sorry for the one that didn’t make it but am happy you got to hear one beating heart!

  19. Alicia October 30, 2012 at 2:21 am #


  20. Kristin October 30, 2012 at 2:46 am #

    I’m so happy for you, friend! Congrats on another successful milestone!

  21. Alissa October 30, 2012 at 4:22 pm #

    I’m so glad to hear your little one is thriving. Hearing the heartbeat is wonderful. I am sad about your other embryo, but know that this is a stronger pregnancy with the one. I am very hopeful for you my friend.Congrats!

  22. Joanna October 30, 2012 at 8:43 pm #

    I’m sorry about the nausea, I’m hoping it eases for you after the first trimester. But…I’m very happy for you to see that your baby is still there thriving and growing. It’s so nerve racking for us to wait for the next test, the next appointment to get the reassurance we need. I’m sending you a huge hug and a special prayer to get through these next few weeks with as little speed bumps as possible!

  23. Theresa October 31, 2012 at 12:40 am #

    YAY for a heartbeat!! Grow baby grow!!!

  24. AmyG October 31, 2012 at 4:59 am #

    Yay for the sticky little bean! Sorry you’re feeling so sick (but not *too* sorry, as that all seems a good sign :)… ). Hang in there, and stay safe amidst the winds and showers.

  25. jjiraffe October 31, 2012 at 7:30 am #

    Wow: lots of news to process. Sorry your twin vanished but happy the remaining little one is doing so well! I hope you were able to ride out the awful Sandy intact. Such awful devastation we’ve been seeing on the news…xoxo

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