In between

15 Jul

Today was my in between day. The day in between my last ultrasound/trigger day and my retrieval. It was so nice not having to wake up at 6:30 for my Lupron shot. We slept in, went out to a nice breakfast, and then the plan for the rest of the day was to get everything all lined up and prepared for this week (food, house, bills, etc.) so all I have to do is rest. Except, well, that didn’t happen.

We went to Stop & Shop and I started to feel kind of loopy and out of it, and very blah. We picked up the Gatorade and some baby aspirin, two things on my “to get” list for the weekend, and that was pretty much it. I hadn’t planned out a menu as I wanted to do and didn’t know what to buy. I’m worried about OHSS. Already I feel bloaty and I’m getting shooting pains up my sides when I pee. This happened after my first IUI and my cancelled cycle. I thought it was a UTI but it was not. I think it is just something connected with having enlarged ovaries and obviously I was expecting it to be pretty painful with IVF. I need to mention it tomorrow.

When I told them about it after my first IUI, they said, well your E2 level wasn’t high enough for it to be OHSS so it’s not that. And that was pretty much that. So who knows? But clearly there’s a concern about it this time around, since they put me on the cabergoline and triggered last night, before all the follicles got to 15 mm. I really, really, REALLY don’t want OHSS! Or at least, not a bad case of it. I’m terrified of the pain and discomfort, and of potentially missing more work for it. We only have FIVE sick days at my work, which seems very low to me.

After we got home, I spent the majority of the day trying to sleep off the nausea I was feeling. I know this was caused by the hCG trigger but it still sucked. And I’m scared for the retrieval. Surgical things scare me, and remind me a lot of my D&C. I know this is a much happier occasion but I’m worried about being in pain after, about the recovery, about how many eggs they really will end up retrieving. And then my mind goes to how they will fertilize (what if none fertilize) and how many embryos we’ll get. I know I said all that stuff about laying back and letting the process unfold but it’s so much easier said than done.

I can’t believe that in 12 hours, we’ll be sitting in the waiting room at our clinic, waiting to begin the retrieval process. Nervous, terrified, excited. I’m waiting for that peaceful feeling to wash over me. I don’t know if it’s coming, but I hope it does. Sorry for the scattered nature of this post, it’s been a weird day!


8 Responses to “In between”

  1. Katie July 16, 2012 at 12:39 am #

    I hope you can stay healthy this week after tomorrow and you find a calm moment or two. Good luck!

  2. Lindsay July 16, 2012 at 12:39 am #

    Oh no!!! Sorry you are so nervous, if it makes you feel any better, my whole day is filled with worry about OHSS and I am still 3-4 weeks away from retrieval!! I think everything your feeling is normal. This is a scary process filled with so many unknowns. I remember after my HCG trigger for my IUI I almost couldn’t get out of bed the next morning I was so nauseous so I hope that goes away for you by tomorow morning. If not, definitely mention it and I think they can give you something in your IV to make it go away. I am thinking about you constantly and am so anxious to hear how it goes. Just keep telling yourself it will all be worth it. You will get through this. Thinking of you!!!! xoxo

  3. Alicia July 16, 2012 at 1:00 am #

    Good luck. I hope there is zero OHSS in your future!!! Fingers crossed for a healthy next few days. Almost there!

  4. Cristy July 16, 2012 at 2:52 am #

    Thinking of you and hoping for very good news!! And also hoping for zero OHSS!

  5. dopingforbaby July 16, 2012 at 5:17 am #

    Hang in there! This is a really exciting time. Ok, a nervous time, but you have done everything in your power to have a great cycle. Bloating is normal. Awful but normal. I hope you sleep well, and good luck! Can’t wait for the report. It’ll be fabulous.

  6. sass July 16, 2012 at 1:55 pm #

    Hang in there. I had all those symptoms too, but no OHSS. I think we all have some amount of fluid retention after retrieval, but it’s a spectrum and only truly dangerous in the extreme. Chances are you’ll be fine – you might be bloated and in pain, but you’ll be okay. If they don’t give you literature on OHSS, ask for it! Our nurses said to weight myself daily and call if I gained 2 pounds a day for 2 days in a row. It was nice to have a specific measurement to compare to. (Of course, there were other things on there too, like shortness of breath, etc.) If I didn’t have doctor approved info, I would have worried myself silly for days!

    Fingers crossed that everything goes well!

  7. Good luck on your retrieval!

  8. Lindsay July 16, 2012 at 4:11 pm #

    Your retrieval should be over and you should be home resting, hope that’s the case!!! Thinking of you and awaiting an update 🙂

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