Happening

5 Jul

Just got the call from the nurse, this is officially happening!

But it was kind of weird…

Let’s rewind. First off, my ultrasound went great. I really like the main ultrasound tech at my RE’s office, she always seems super positive, knowledgeable, and she puts me at ease. Today as we were leaving, she turned to the med student who was observing my ultrasound and said, “So that was what a perfect uterus and perfect ovaries look like.” DH and I just grinned at each other.

Then of course all day I’m waiting for the call. Finally I look down and see I’ve missed a call on my phone! So I dial the office right back and the nurse tells me just what I’ve wanted to hear: starting stims tonight! 15o units of Gonal-f tonight, tomorrow, Saturday and Sunday, repeat bloodwork and ultrasound on Monday. Dropping Lupron down to 5 units. Awesome, right?! I’m psyched. I get off the phone with her and open up WordPress to start writing to you all about how I’m so excited.

Then I see I have another missed call from the office (not sure why I keep missing them when my phone is RIGHT in front of me!). I call them back and this awkwardness ensues:

Nurse: Hey Shelley, sorry you probably think I’m totally psychotic.
Me: (Laughing) Haha, no you’re fine. What’s up?
N: Is it okay if we start your stims tomorrow instead? I just have two other people starting tonight and I don’t want three retrievals in one day.
Me: Um. Okay?
N: Everything will remain just the same, just one day later. So you’ll start tomorrow, and the bloodwork and ultrasound will be on Tuesday.
Me: (Dejected) Okay…
N: Okay? Great.
Me: Well, I have to admit I’m kind of disappointed to be starting one day later. I mean, I know it’s only one day but I was really excited to get started today.
N: Aww, I’m sorry!
(silence)
Me: I guess it’s not that big a deal. Do you guys do transfers on Sundays? (sidenote: that was because I was looking at the calendar and anticipating a potential Sunday transfer with this delay, which really bummed me out because it meant more time off work, potentially, to rest/recover. This was assuming it would be a 5-day transfer, which is what I’m just going to start assuming because I try to think positively! Ahem, ahem, Nurse.)
N: Yep, we do transfers really on any day they fall.
Me:  Oh, okay. Well, I mean, I guess it’s not that big a deal, right?
N: I mean, you COULD start today if you want…
Me: I don’t want to mess things up for you guys though. I’ll just do whatever you’d like me to do.
N: I don’t want this to be something bad that you’re dwelling on for your cycle so if you want to start today, you can.
Me: Can I? I’d really rather start today.
N: Okay, we’ll start today. Keep everything the same and we’ll see you on Monday.
Me: Okay. Thanks. Sorry.

Yeah. So, that happened. I really don’t know what to think. It kind of put a damper on my excitement and all the positivity I was feeling. But that’s silly, right? I shouldn’t let it disappoint me, right? It’s not a sign of bad luck? I’m one of those people who starts to think of things going exactly a certain way and when they don’t go that way, I get really, really disappointed. I’m also all or nothing. One thing goes slightly awry and the whole thing’s f-ed. It’s how I am and it’s silly and I don’t like it about myself but it’s how I am.

Blah. Shake it off, shake it off. This is good news, things looked good and this is happening. Starting tonight! This is happening! Get excited, self.

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6 Responses to “Happening”

  1. Cristy July 5, 2012 at 7:42 pm #

    Well, there are two ways to look at this.
    First way: It’s kind of a buzz kill. Yes, I get it, she’s trying to work things out so that they’re not overloaded, but I know you’re thinking “why me and not someone else.”

    But here’s the second way (and the way I’m looking at it): You asserted yourself. You expressed that this was a downer and the nurse listened. And in my eyes, that’s a good thing. It means that you’re taking control of the situation and that with that control comes hope. Top that off with a perfect uterus and perfect ovaries, and I have so much hope for you! Lady, you’re taking steps that even a few months ago you would not have taken. Only good things can come of this!

    Yay for stims and fingers/toes are crossed for many healthy eggs! Sending so much love to you today and doing a happy dance for this great news too!

  2. Lisa July 5, 2012 at 9:14 pm #

    I totally understand having a plan and getting upset when something messes it up. I would’ve been the same way, but probably less honest about the disappointment to the nurse. Good for you for speaking up. I don’t know why they assume you will all retrieve the same day anyway. Everyone responds differently and may need more or less days to ripen up their ovaries. Best of luck to you as you begin your stims! Grow follicles, grow!

  3. Kate @ Infertile First Mom July 5, 2012 at 9:35 pm #

    Everything Cristy and Lisa just said. I concur. You rock for sticking up for yourself! Sometimes I struggle with that, and I’d have been pretty miffed at the nurse for putting me on the spot like that! Way to take the bull by the horns and insist on starting tonight! Crossing everything for an excellent response to stims and a successful retrieval and 5 day transfer!

  4. Katie July 6, 2012 at 1:07 am #

    No no no no no…..you don’t let the convenience of someone else’s schedule ruin your excitement of the big start day. I am glad you spoke up. You aren’t scheduling an annual cleaning at the dentists office….this is big stuff. Yeah for starting Stims!

  5. Alicia July 7, 2012 at 5:19 am #

    NOT a bad sign, it’s a good sign. You’re taking charge and making them make this work for you. Good job girl!

    It amazes me how easily the fertility clinic can turn our feelings on their head. Bummer.

  6. Keisha July 9, 2012 at 12:59 pm #

    I hope the stimming is going well for you, lady. I’m glad you got to do things your way and didn’t have to be disappointed with starting a day later than you wanted to.
    *Hugs*

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