Now look at me

8 Jun

It’s amazing how committing to a plan and making a few simple changes can make you feel so much better. In my last post, I talked about all the things, both physical and emotional, that I wanted to do to prepare for IVF. It’s only been four days since I posted that but I’ve been sticking to things pretty well.

On the physical side: I’ve been drinking lots of healthy herbal teas, taking my prenatals, getting to the gym a couple times, and sticking to a diet of mainly whole grains, fruits, veggies and lean meats. I’ve made the decision to try an acupuncture session at an affordable community acupuncture center and talk to them about incorporating it into the IVF cycle. I feel relaxed and strong and calmly focused on nourishing and supporting my body as I prepare it for the task ahead.

I did slip once each on the caffeine and alcohol fronts, which is hilarious to me because those are the two things I thought would be easiest. On Monday night, DH randomly decided we should open up the nice bottle of champagne we’ve had sitting in our fridge I THINK since we got married. So I had one (healthy) flute of that and it made us so relaxed and giggly I think the benefit outweighed any harm. I also had a most delicious cup of coffee on break from jury duty yesterday (didn’t get picked – hooray!) because – blech. Jury duty. I made sure to THOROUGHLY enjoy it though because it’s probably my last for awhile.

Emotionally: I’ve got my Circle+Bloom tracks and I’ve done Precycle Session A twice and I have to say, I honestly love it. Even from the first time to the second time, I could feel myself getting much more relaxed and finding it easier to visualize the mind-body connection. I’m lucky that I’ve experienced meditation before so I know how to find and recognize that place of total physical relaxation with full mental acuity. It’s quite special actually – like sleeping and being awake at the same time.

I told the CEO of my company and the VP I report to that I’ll be doing IVF next month. They were both very supportive though they knew very little of everything involved. There are a few other coworkers I want to tell in time too but those were the big two I needed to tell. I also laid it all out for my parents. Only left now is to tell each of my closest girlfriends.

Success stories! I’ve read a few. Jenn shared some great ones today that really made me happy – go check them out here! I am going to keep actively seeking these out when I have spare time. I also bit the bullet and emailed my RE about my Lupron concerns. He told me that those issues mainly develop for people who have to be on it for long periods of time and that once I start the FSH it will negate any of the bad side effects. I should only be on it for about 10-14 days without the FSH so it shouldn’t be bad. I feel better about it. Now I need to order the drugs! I keep making excuses.

I’ve also decided TO try the RESOLVE group next week but TO NOT start the process of finding a therapist. Between Circle+Bloom, RESOLVE and all my online TTC/bloggy friends, I think I’ll get by just fine.

It’s amazing how just doing these few things has made me feel so much more collected, and that has led me to feel myself shifting toward positive thinking. I’m even finding inspiration in pop songs on the radio. Like, I was jamming out to this one yesterday… yeah, infertility! You’re not gonna break my soul!


Days like this I want to drive away
Pack my bags and watch your shadow fade
You chewed me up and spit me out
Like I was poison in your mouth
You took my light, you drained me down
But that was then and this is now
Now look at me

This is the part of me
That you’re never gonna ever take away from me, no
This is the part of me
That you’re never gonna ever take away from me, no
Throw your sticks and your stones, throw your bombs and your blows
But you’re not gonna break my soul
This is the part of me
That you’re never gonna ever take away from me, no


6 Responses to “Now look at me”

  1. Cristy June 8, 2012 at 4:40 pm #

    That’s a fight song if I’ve ever heard one! I’m glad you found a routine that is allowing you to focus on this upcoming cycle in a positive light. That’s a BIG step in the right direction. I’m also glad that you’re seeing a huge benefit already!

    Thinking of you and hoping this month flies by!!

  2. Alissa June 9, 2012 at 5:33 pm #

    I’m glad to hear all of this. It’s so important to take care of yourself in every way during this time. IVF is challenging on many levels and it’s a big decision to make. You are helping yourself immensly just by finding ways to cope and be at a higher level of peace. It sounds like you really have accepted your path and that is so important. Good luck!

  3. DandelionBreeze June 9, 2012 at 9:31 pm #

    Wonderful…. love all your ideas and that it’s helping you to feel at peace 🙂 I’m starting my goals list this week to keep me on track over my month off… you’ve inspired me 🙂 Loooove Circle and Bloom… had helped me so much 🙂 FXd and love to you always xoxo

  4. Aplatanada June 11, 2012 at 2:11 am #

    So glad to hear that your plan is having such good results! I think I will definitely have to check out Circle + Bloom, too. 🙂

  5. Gina June 11, 2012 at 4:32 pm #

    I heard this song over the weekend and thought of you. You go, girl!

  6. Alicia June 29, 2012 at 1:58 am #

    Yay Circle and Bloom! So awesome hey? My favorite time of day. =)

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