This strong

30 Apr

Before embarking on the TTC roller coaster there should be a sign that reads: You must be this strong to ride this ride.

Strong enough to handle the myriad of highs and lows (mainly lows), dashed hopes, dropped dreams, wins and losses (mainly losses), seemingly endless heartache, virtually daily pain. If you can handle all that then maybe, just maybe, you’ll make it to the end of the ride. No promises though.

Here’s where I’m at, cycle wise. Maybe all you lovely ladies can help shed some light.

I’ve been watching my temps since our IUI was cancelled with five follicles over 15mm, waiting for them to rise. My bloodwork nine days ago supposedly showed my LH starting to rise. I really thought it would be any day and was definitely feeling my hormones surging and tweaks and twinges from my ovaries. In fact, every day last week, I thought, “THIS is the day.” No wait, “THIS is the day.” Still, no rise.

I still didn’t have a rise going into the weekend when I knew I wasn’t going to be able to temp. We went to New Orleans for wedding and had a lot of late nights and early mornings. On Friday night (actually it was early Saturday morning), I was standing in a bar in the Warehouse District feeling both ovaries in action. I thought, “THIS is definitely it.” But then Saturday night, at the wedding itself, my right ovary kicked into overdrive to the point it was actually painful. I was clutching at my hip and it was enough to have to say, “Ow” outloud. I’ve never had painful ovulations at all, in fact I’ve rarely ever felt them. But I figure it was a BIG one so that was why. I thought Saturday night was definitely the night.

Then yesterday evening (Sunday), after we got home, I noticed some spotting when I wiped. Ovulation spotting? Never had it before but figured again, big O. So hubby and I DTD, just in case. But after that, the spotting turned into actual bleeding and has continued into today. I left a message for my RE’s office last night but I haven’t heard back yet. I thought for SURE I’d see a temp rise this morning but AGAIN, NOTHING. 97.0. What the hell gives, man!?

So now I’m thinking. A) This cycled is totally f-ed. Whatever. It probably always was. But more concerning is, B) What the hell is going on. Why haven’t I ovulated, and more importantly, why am I BLEEDING?! Something is definitely not right and I’m terrified.

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3 Responses to “This strong”

  1. Jenn April 30, 2012 at 5:26 pm #

    I sort of had that happen once, I had “ovulation bleeding” for 3 days straight, but it was very light and very pink. How heave is the bleeding? I hope your RE has an answer for you. Keep us posted and fingers crossed that somehow it means good news 🙂

  2. Gina April 30, 2012 at 6:54 pm #

    I’m so sorry this cycle seems messed up again…..The confusion! How do your ovaries feel today? Maybe it’s a late rise? I have no explanation for the bleeding though. Lots of hugs sent your way and hopefully you get a decent answer from the RE soon.

  3. kidsakeeper April 30, 2012 at 11:30 pm #

    Could be your thermometer is on the blink and what you have on your hands is an implant bleed….my two cents….sorry I was blog surfing and happened upon yours 🙂

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